Eternally Grateful

I just went to my sec school friends’ wedding dinner. And as usual its always something pretty emotional for me. I am grateful for these friends that I have. I am grateful for the lovely memories during my youth. I am grateful that 10 years later today, we can all sit down together and chat with no reservation all becuase we are from the same high school – even though we have lost touch for the past 10 years or never really spoken before all our life. Just totally grateful.

Sometimes when I think about it, I have no fantastic academic report cards to be proud of. I have no culinary skills that my mum would be proud of. I have not much skills in me that I can really say to be of substantial standard. But I guess when I looked back on my youth, I felt that I was truly happy.

I had made great friends, and some enemies. I had lots of laughter and some tears. Although my school is really just a neighbourhood school, where ah bengs and ah lians are aplenty; where students were really just a little above average (I guess). But there were many people I’ve come to know who are really nice, thoughtful, sincere and are always ready for their friends till today. And they have all found successes in their own way. Such friendships are so touching, isn’t it?

I treasure them and the memories we shared. I treasure such friendship which are so rare as we grow older. Eternally grateful that I had a chance to make wonderful friends who has made my youth richer. Cheers!

One Voice

Together, One Voice

Its Christmas time and I think it will not be complete without choirs singing.

There’s something amazing bout being listenin to the choir isn’t it? Its like listening to an orchestra play; the beautiful symphony is only possible when everyone sings together to the cue of the conductor.

The picture above is ’stolen’ from my secondary school’s choir page in Facebook. Brings back much memories. Yeah, I was from the school choir. I think this is something which makes many of my friends drop their jaw. I guess my voice is just so unlike the sweet ones u find in a typical choir member. And apparently my low pitched voice actually contributed to the Sopranos section. LOL!

A typical session begins with warming up and then a couple hours of singing the same song over and over, practising our projection of voice, singing using our diaphragm and not our throat, learning to read the conductor’s cue etc. Pretty fun stuff.

Unfortunately, I had only 2 performance during my years with the choir. Reason being I was actively involved in my other CCA. I guess that was my only regret – not grabbing the oppurtunity to experience the wonder of public performance.

An idea did come about that we could do an Alumni choir performance thingy, but I doubt this can happen. Everyone is busy with their own commitments and not many of us are still in touch and seriously we need to train hard, really hard, to be ready for one such performance. Reasons or excuses? I am not sure.

I missed singing in a choir. Its a very different feel altogether. Its not like singing in a KTV, its not like singing solo. There’s just something magical in experiencing everyone singing together and making a song come alive in a different way.

Planted to the Ground

Yesterday I met up with a close group of friends – Yijun, Fred, Gayle – for dinner. We have not been as close in contact as we wanted. Perhaps its because I had not made enough effort to. Perhaps we are all busy with our lives. I am always comforted when I see my friends living better lives than before. They are all in the midst of carving their careers, finding opportunities and seeking stability in their own private lives. We probably looked better now, as we seem to have all lost some weight!

This group of friends has been extraordinary. When I joined the team as a Team Leader, it was a total culture shock for me. It had not been easy for me to ‘break the ice’ because I tend to get shy. Especially when it is a big group. It is not as easy to be ‘thick skinned’ in big groups you see! LOL! So this group of people has been my friends when I had no one to rely on. They kind of covered my back and somehow ‘protected’ me. (FYI: It was a little challenging for me because to lead a team of members who knew each other and the system very well is not very advantageous for me – who is being exposed to a whole new way of management.)

Yesterday’s dinner has been simple yet refreshing. I had felt a little bad, because it has been so long since I met them. I am not sure how much I had change, or how much they had changed. But I was glad that when we met, the same old familiarity came back. We were still crappy! Other than this crappiness, I realised I valued their company very much because I am able to get truthful opinions and thoughts from them. (I am sure its easy to distinguish when people tend to give you answers which are pretty generic and answers which are thoughtful.) I am very comforted to still have this group of friends, because through them I found inspiration and direction.

All this sounds so exaggerating, I guess. But I truly feel this way. Though the dinner was short and after dinner Yijun had to rush back to work, I look forward to the next meeting.

p/s: We mentioned something like we hate people who simple don’t know how to reject others, simply becuase they think doing that will make others feel better. Somehow, I reflected and think I have such tendencies too. LOL! I got loads to learn man!

Falling into Place

So wat happened in the last weekends that passed? Pretty much I must say.

After all these activities, I am sleep deprived. Well, being deprived of sleep isn’t that uncommon for me anyway. I bet Ah Boon and the rest of my team mates probably remembers me starting off my morning shifts with “I am so tired…..” complains. Lol!

SATURDAY

So after the graduation ceremony, Suet has been busy with her new home inspection prior to getting the keys on Saturday. That is to make sure the home is in acceptable condition before we become the official owners. While Darren and I were busy with inspection, my family were busy cramming along with the crowd in Comex. And their loot for the day was… a video camera!

Canon FS100

SUNDAY

The on Sunday, Darren, my parents and I went to KL to visit my grandparents. It was pretty interesting, although Darren don’t understand a word my family speaks – they speak Hakka you see. The trip to KL was pretty rush. We went to see my granparents first, then to visit my old childhood home (which my parents are deciding to sell off… and I am so gonna miss it), then to visit my mother side auntie who has taken ill recently, then off back to Singapore. So much for a day trip huh!

Some pix we took in the day.

Darren and Harry

Harry, the Silky Terrier

Suety and Harry

Outside Granny's Home

My Home

KL Skyline

Going Back to SG

MONDAY

We got our keys finally! Went down to HDB for our second appointment. Was a fast process and we can’t wait to open the doors as owners finally!

TUESDAY

We confirmed the banquet venue. Signed on the dotted lines and paid the deposit.

Now we are still contemplating if we should hold the banquet in September or December… Hmmmm…

WEDNESDAY

We got the geomancer’s advise on when to “open the door”. So 3rd Sept we went over to our new house and finally went in as its new owner! Feels so cool!!

Then in the evening, we went to the Bridal Studio to confirm our ROM outfit. I chose a knee length lilac-silver dress. I think I should look ok. LOL!

~*~

It has been a very hectic week. I need lots of sleep!

When the Past say Hi…

Today I bumped into an old friend.

LOL! She is my ex-boyfriend’s buddy’s girlfriend.

Yes, we hung around a little, when my ex and I were still together. We have not been in contact for the past 3 to 4 years. Reason being, I am not sure how to face them. I feel that they are his friends after all and its difficult to be just friends without the slightest mention or mental connection about me and him.

I guess the biggest reason why I tend to minimise contact with them is because I’ve always felt I was the bitch back then. LOL! Although I’ve grown to learn that relationships fail not because one is right, the other is wrong; but it fails because the two persons are just incompatible. What they see their future will be, the directions they are taking and the changing needs they need to fulfill differs. Therefore, some relationships could not continue growing.

I always had problems expressing myself when its important to do so. My mind gets messed up, goes blank, and words just can’t come out right because I have a constant fear that the truth of my thoughts would hurt. I think some things I said back then probably sounded like shit loads of crap. Therefore, the relationship was called off in a pretty abrupt manner, and I bet he probably still has no inkling what really went through my mind back then, even until now.

But 4 years on, I decided all this are no longer important. There’s no need for him to know all this anymore. All these are expired emotions. Everyone has grown up and moved on, so we should not be looking back every now and then, adding new gashes to an old wound. However if one day, he has a dying need to know what exactly happened one day, I would not avoid but would tell him as much as I could. I’ll try…

Anyway back to this friend I met today. She looked great. She briefly asked when I am getting hitched and also mentioned that I look different and she couldn’t recognise me at first. I almost wanted to faint, because somewhere at the back of my mind I really thought by the way i dressed today, I really thought I looked a little more terrible than four years ago.

In a nutshell, meeting her didn’t really made me ‘reminisce’ the past, nor did it made me regret not keeping in touch with a group of friends who could (maybe) have been my buddies too. But it did occur to me that, while we could not avoid meeting people from the past somewhere in the future, I would really want to LOOK better than before and be LIVING better than before.

Maybe its not so much to ‘prove’ to them that life has treated me great, but its great personal satisfaction that when one looks back on their life, they see improvement and added value in many dimension. Seriously, not many people really want to look back and think “What has become of me now?” right? LOL!

Of GTO and Sleeping Forests

My first loot after my exams – DVDs.

During my exam revisions, my mind was reminiscing the good old j-drama that had accompany my growing up years. All because one of Darren’s colleague was going to his in-law’s home in Japan. Yeah, I caught up the the j-drama craze years ago when Die Sterntaller (starring Noriko Sakai and Yutaka Takenouchi) was such a hit. Noriko Sakai was such a babe, I am sure many guys were secretly in love with her. Lol! Then there were the hit series like Under One Roof, Beautiful Life and so on.

Anyway, there were so many classics which I really loved. J-dramas are usually not very draggy, the whole show ends within 12 – 13 episodes. While I’m not sure about how Japanese society is like in reality, each drama makes the Japanese society looks so beautiful. There’s always something poetic, something bittersweet and something that fills the gap in my heart when I watch these dramas. Much like re-reading those fairy tale classics which always transport me away from the harsh realities of life and give me room to imagine how beautiful life really could have been. And j-dramas are usually accompanied with lovely soundtracks which can be haunting, heartwarming and tear-jerking at the same time. It heightens the mood, bringing audiences to the next emotional level.

I bought these 2 drama boxes – Great Teacher Onizuka and Sleeping Forest – through e-bay. I was pretty surprised to find first hand original stuff there, because this is really the first time I am purchasing via the portal. The delivery was pretty fast too. Once payment was received, they sent it to me within 1 working day! Cool huh!

Both shows has been my favourite for a long time. I was looking for another drama – Overtime, but well just too bad for me, it wasn’t in stock.

Seriously, I think I love these dramas because it brings me back to the days when I am more romantic and innocent. I used to gush over the little moments and go ‘awww’… I really do wonder if re-watching them will make me feel the same? Or have I really already ‘grown up’ and gotten all too jaded? Lol!

Anyway, I should think the major challenge for me now is, when can I start watching the DVDs in peace? haha! They are still covered with the plastic sheet and sitting on my table, waiting for the day to unite with the DVD player!

Ally

Ally McBeal is an all-time favourite drama. When i was still a goggle box fan la. nowadays i liked CSI etc, but no time to really chase each episode. But i really wun mind sitting through another round of all 5 seasons of Ally McBeal.

Ally reflects a lil like me. Part of her tend to daydream away imagining things, which is really like me. haha! this is probably how i entertain myself, i guess. I love Lucy Liu too. her sarcasm is so so funny! and she really made the single eye-lid asian face look so beautiful and intelligent amidst the blondies in the show.

Never forget the episode when Billy (i think thats his name, anyway i am refering to her ex-bf in the show) died. Omg, i cried my hearts and lungs out. It was the drama mama in me at work la. And this show also discovered my lovely victorian pixie faced soprano singer – Josh Groban. his voice is so oooh lala, it will send me to heaven. haha!

Last but not least, a really great classic drama. (which i thought more entertaining than Friends! lol!) coupled with a really great soundtrack by Vonda Shepard.

Se7en

Not sure if i’ve blogged bout it before. But when i was 17, someone told me that 7 is a miracle number. Seven Days, Seven Seas, Seventh Heaven, Seven Year Itch, Seven Continents, etc. Btw he is not a dashing young lad who set my hormones popping, he is really a muslim uncle who is saying some words of wisdom to me – all while i was trying hard to swallow the worst Mee Hong Kong I ever tasted in my life. Anyway, he told me, if I can understand why seven is miracle number, i would then understand the meaning of life.

So i guess till now i still do not comprehend. Not even a little bit. Thats why i am still alive today and Life still seems so worth living everyday. Coz there’s still at least something that I dun know. hahha!

Anyway, i was really just wondering why is the 7th day of the lunar calendar, the birthday for all mankind. according to the lunar calendar, today everyone grow older by one year. So its 7 again huh! See, that uncle totally changed the way i look at the number 7. Its has so much meaning and implication suddenly. muahaha!!

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ok, enough of crap, Gong Hey Fatt Choy, everybody! Hope u guys robbed enough angpaos as supplements to your regular pocket moneys to those who are not working. and to those who are working, hope it adds to your annual bonus which i presume u will be receiving pretty soon if u have not gotten it!

This year gonna be good. It better be!

I was back at M’sia this year, like every year that preceeds it. But this year i feel a lil different. I met up with cousins whom i’ve not met for the past 4 years or so. We have all grown. U know there’s a difference when u meet a cousin up after 4 years, when u are 26 years old, compared to when u were 16. The every familiar bond is still there. we dun really need much ice-breaking like before. we now share a more intimate and closer r/ship i suppose. wat has age done to us, man! hehe!

This year we spent quite a fruitful year together. We had numerous gobbling sessions – thats what happen when grandma cook too much! we eat till we dun know how to appreciate the taste anymore. haha! then we went to this fish spa at Pavilion – a new shopping mall at Bukit Bintang, KL. this is the theraphy where u get fishes eating ur dead skin. And boy, the fishes there are damn well-fed la!! they are so huge,and i felt so ticklish!!

we also had a ktv session till late night at Pavilion. It was damn posh la. dunnoe how to describe. Its a very normal room we had, but its just different from the k-box or party world that we go to in SG.

And i think i’ve the most unconventional extended family. I’m not sure since when the second day of chinese new year, we always have a alcohol dunking session before the feast. The whole family (except for the mothers who are busy in the kitchen) would toast each other with whatever ethanol liquid they could find. Not good for the liver at all. Heng heng for me, i managed to get away with just a glass of very healthy red wine. (red wine is healthy – if u can imagine them down-ing hard liqour fast and furious). scary family i have there.

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The conclusion. i left m’sia this year missing my old house badly. thats where i played and studied. cried and laughed. at least till i was eight. where the morning air is fresh and cool. where everything was still so great. if i had the chance, i would wanna buy over the house and get it done up. probably make that my summer house, my sanctuary where i could run and hide away from the world out there – once in a while.